Friday, September 28, 2012

I've been quiet....but not for long

I'm writing today, finally, it's been too long. I've only posted twice this month, and, while I am not a "daily" writer by any stretch of the imagination, I usually at least post something at least once a week, sometimes more, depending on what's going on. I haven't had anything getting in the way of me sitting here and typing up a post, my day to day life hasn't changed much at all, so I can't really blame my silence on being "busy".              

As it is my nature, my perspective on things constantly changes, and so therefore does my frequency of writing. I LIKE to write, it helps get my thoughts out of my head, and onto something a little more permanent, but when my thoughts are not in a place where I believe I have anything to share, well, I don't write.

The funny thing is, right now, I have no shortage of things that I COULD write about, but I no longer have the desire to have my innermost thoughts and feelings open for the whole world to see. Most of the time, I can, and will do so, write about things that are going on in my life, without adding all of the inner dialogue that does nothing but scream for attention. Until recently, I didn't even realize that I was doing that, with the way I was writing.

Having said all that, I have found a way to give my writing a "jump-start". I have decided to participate in the annual "NaBloWriMo" writing challenge. Here's a link to the blog where it "originates", but basically, it's just a fun way to get the creative juices flowing, by posting a blog post for every day of the month of October. There's also a Facebook page that can give you all the information about joining.

The fact of the matter is folks, something has to give. Sure, my mind and thoughts can change, my emotions have DEFINITELY changed, but that doesn't mean I have to stop writing. All it means is that I need to find a better motivation than the one I once had. I don't think I need to hash out the details on that one, anyone who has been following me for a while most likely already knows what that motivation was.

Life is different, but only because my attitude and mind are different. Any time I gain a new perspective on myself, I find that my writing takes a new direction. This time it meant that I just about stopped writing, and while that may seem like a bad thing, in essence, it's not. It just means I need a "reboot", and I think this blog challenge is just the thing to get me going again. And going in a direction that doesn't scream "Hey, somebody like me, somebody feel sorry for me, because I write about my feelings so much!"

For a guy who's never really been his own person a day in his life, not in thought anyway, it's been a change to finally break free, and realize that I am ok with being by myself, and I am ok WITH myself. No regrets, no "oh-woe-is-me", just, ME, being who *I* am, whether anyone else approves of it or not.

I look forward to the start of the blogging challenge, and as the month of October progresses, I will update everyone on what has transpired in my life, and what is yet to come. Thank you for your continued interest, and for your support.

*Photo courtesy of NaBloWriMo blog*

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Special....You think you're do....

For those of you that are familiar, you recognized my post title as the first lines of the lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song "My Way". For those not familiar, here's the official video.....

As you can see, it's a song about a person who's fed up with having to follow someone else's way of doing things, and has decided to do things their own way. As you hear in the song, he says "It's my way, my way or the highway!"

But that's not the main reason why I am sharing this. That first line, the one that says "You think you're special", that's what's important here. Because I believe that I've found the answer to a question that has plagued me for most of my life.

 I've heard people tell me I'm "special", but, am I?

It's been said that everyone is unique, and therefore "special". I couldn't wrap my mind around that conclusion however, because it's a paradox. If EVERYONE is special, then doesn't that mean that NO ONE is? Allow me to elaborate on my thought process, by showing you another video, this one from the movie "The Incredibles", where the villian, "Sydrome", explains how he's going to make everyone "super".....

Now of course, this is a movie, completely fiction, as none of us (that we know of) has "superpowers", but the idea is the same. If everyone is "special", then doesn't that mean that no one is? 

I found out recently that in fact, we are. All of us. We are all special. I am, you are, the guy down at the corner convenience store, all of us. And do you know why? 

You, me, everyone else on the planet, we are the only one of our kind. We are the only one who is who we are, and as such, we have our own "perspective" on life (had to plug that word in there, you know, it's "me"), we each have our own talents and gifts, and most importantly, we are each very special to someone else, whether it be a companion, our parents, our children, our coworkers, or even the guy down at the convenience store at the corner who sees us every day. 

Just because everyone is "special", it doesn't mean that none of us are. It really does mean that each and every one of us, including YOU, are special. It's not a paradox at all. Our uniqueness is what makes each of us special in our own right. It doesn't even matter if you think that no one else thinks you're special either. You are, just because you are the only YOU there is. Even if you think that no one else on the planet cares about you, or whether or not you think you have any talents, gifts, or anything to offer, you are indeed a special person, because no one else is YOU.

Now, getting back to my original reference, the Limp Bizkit song, isn't it fitting then that if you are indeed special, unique, your own person, shouldn't you then be able to decide that you want to do things YOUR WAY? Hell yes!

I think it's logical that if we are all special, unique beings, then we should not be inclined to follow anyone else, or do things just as others do them, to try to "fit in". If we are all special, then we should follow our own way, and do things, live our lives, as we alone see fit. Why worry about how others think of you? Live your life as the song says, "it's my way or the highway!"

When you really realize that you are your own person, unique, and just as special as everyone else, then all the worry about whether or not you are loved by anyone, or whether or not you "fit in" melts away. You will find that you want to do everything exactly as YOU want to do it, because no one else is just like you, and no one else can see the things you see, or understand the world just like you do. No one. Not even your spouse, your parents, your siblings, or your children. Sure, there are lots of similarities, you find you get along with people and tend to congregate with those who have some of the same likes and dislikes as you, and you find people who you want to have around you a lot, but, when it comes down to it, no one else on the planet can view the world through YOUR eyes. You can do a lot for yourself if you decide to be the person you are, rather than trying to be what you aren't to please other people. They see the world through their own eyes, and their view is different, so anything you do to try to make them see things YOUR way will not make it so.

If you want to be truly happy, the only way to do that is to live your life the way YOU see it will make you happy. If the people around you do not make you happy, then find people that DO. If you think your life sucks, you hate your job, you're pissed off at your companion because they just don't "understand" you, then make a change. Do what YOU want to do, because yes, you are special enough, you ARE worth it. If it's important to YOU, then it matters. 

"But it's hard", you say. "I can't leave (insert random person's name here)". "I have responsibilities to take care of (insert other random names here)". Yes, life gives us things we "have" to do, like find a way to make money, or take care of the children we created. But that doesn't mean that you have to lose who you are in the process. You have every right to be who you are, and live your life as you see fit. Yes, sometimes, we all have to do things that we don't really want to do. No one is immune from that. No one said this was an anarchy, and that we can just do anything we want to do, with no consequences. We all find that we have to have jobs, to make money to survive on, but if the job you have doesn't make you happy, then why not change it? There IS a job or career out there that you will love, you only have to think about what it is you want to do, what you love to do, and make it happen, for YOU. 

You're not happy in your relationship? Then change it. You have the right as a human being to be with the person that makes you happy to be with them. Your unique personality is going to be special to someone out there, and the way to find that someone is to be who you really are. Don't try to cater to someone else's whims because you happen to find them attractive. If you don't "click" in the way you feel is right for you, don't change yourself to make them more attracted to you, because you will never be happy. 

If you're looking for another person's approval, trust me when I tell you, you will NEVER get it, not in the way you want it. Do you know why? Because they are unique, and special, just like you, and they see the world in a completely different way than you do. Do what YOU feel right doing, because no one else's opinion on that matters. Your parents wanted you to be a doctor, or a lawyer, and they're disappointed because you flip burgers at McDonald's? Does that job make you happy? If you answered YES, then that's all that matters. There's no law that says that you have to live up to what anyone, and I mean ANYONE else thinks that YOU ought to be. If it's what you want, if it's what makes YOU happy, then it's the right thing to do. For YOU. Your companion doesn't like the fact that you would rather be at homemaker, than go out and get a job? Then do what YOU want, and make yourself happy taking care of your home, find someone who understands that, and loves that about you. 

It seems like an oxymoron, I mean, money is tight these days, no one ever seems to have enough, but, if you yourself are not comfortable with your existence, with whoever it is, then why should you have to cater to what someone else thinks you need to be doing? Only you can change your life, to make YOU happy, you have that right as a human being to do what YOU want, to be with who YOU want to be with, and if you're not happy with your present situation, then only YOU can change it to the point to where you ARE. 

Make your own way, make YOU happy.

You, yes, I'm talking to YOU, the one who's reading this, right now, YOU are special. You are the only one who can be YOU. It really CAN be "your way, or the highway". It's up to you to make it happen.

You are special, because you are the only YOU on the planet, the only YOU that has ever been, or ever will be.

Make the most out of being special, because no one else can.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Politics, Presidents, and Perspective

I've been on the outside for a while now, watching, listening, and observing.

I don't have any type of cable or TV reception at home, so I haven't seen a single thing about the upcoming Presidential election from that medium. What I've been doing is picking up bits and pieces from the internet, through various forms of social media, and I've been talking with and listening to those I work with, and those I come in contact with in my daily life. In other words, all the information I have has come from independent, individual sources.

What I've observed through the last 6 months or so gives me pause, it makes me wonder about the whole process of how we as a people view our leaders, and what I've seen is that there is a very personal bias for each individual when it comes to who they choose as "their" candidate for the presidency, usually on the basis of only one or a few of the "issues" that the candidates stand for.

People are literally all over the map. It seems they only focus on the one or two issues that they have a personal passion about, and more or less ignore the rest. Some will say they refuse to vote for the Republicans because of their opinions of women's rights, or their definitions of rape. Some say they won't vote for President Obama because he hasn't created any jobs, and they even post statistics, and depending on which side of the coin a person is on, the statistics seem to completely contradict one another. Others have stated that the military is behind one candidate over another, because of their promise to bring all of our soldiers home, and end any and all wars we are currently fighting, or will ever be fighting in the future.

Those are just a few of the examples of the "one issue" mindset I have observed in action.

While our "democratic" system of government allows for just sort of a scenario, and each individual can vote as he or she pleases, for whatever reason they choose, the reason I find this particularly dangerous is because there is a lot more to our government than the person who is President. I like to call him the "face in front of the camera", because in essence, that's what he (or she, at some point) really is. The real power of our government does not lie in any one individual's hands. It's our senators and congressmen who decide what becomes a law, and whether or not we as a country will go to war with another. The President has little real power when it comes to making decisions for the country as a whole. Everything is put before a vote, and those congressmen and senators choose, depending on which majority wins that vote, whether a bill is passed or if it fails.

I don't profess to be an expert of any type on politics, and I usually try to stay away from political arguments, just because of how individuals tend to handle it. It's a lot like discussing a person's religious beliefs, and, if you remember a post I wrote not too long ago, about religion, I believe that that's what most of our government is based on, religion. But here's the thing. We all have some type of religious beliefs, and talking about politics with someone seems to be very similar to talking to them about their religion; but, when we are considering our choice for the Presidency, what we are in essence doing is interviewing the potential candidates for a JOB, and I don't believe then that we should take that person's "resume", and pick out one thing, whether we like it or not, and run with it, and use that as our sole basis for who we choose to vote for. And yes, there is cause for not hiring someone based solely on one aspect of their resume, but in most cases, a potential employer will look at the entire resume, and weigh the pros and cons, because we all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Any and all of the candidates for the Presidency have them, no matter what their party affiliation, and in my opinion, I think we need to look at each of them in that way, and ask ourselves one question.

"Does this person have the ability and experience required to do the job as it is laid out?"

Now, you may be saying, "well, one guy's already had the job for a while, and he sucks at it." But does he really? Remember what I said about the senators and congressmen? How much of what has gone on in his time in office did he himself really have complete control over? The answer is, very little. Each person given the job of President inherits things from the previous holder of the position, and spends a lot of time trying to implement changes. Some of the changes happen, some don't, but it's not for their lack of trying.

What I'm getting at here is that I think we need to have a different perspective on how we look at politics. We need to stop focusing on one or two of the issues, and we need to look at the the qualifications and experience of the individual, and ask ourselves if they are a good candidate for the job.

So what's the President's job description? Click here to read what I think is a pretty good article describing exactly what a President is supposed to do. Then take THAT knowledge, and decide who you think can do that job most effectively.

It's politics, it's about our President, but, it takes a little perspective to find the right person.