It's been a long time since I posted, I know......
I can't tell you why, or, should I say, I'd rather not.....
Life is busy for me, right now, and I don't have the time to post every day, and it's funny, I promised to do so every day......that's the funny part...it's funny how a lifetime works....
Just as soon as you promise something, there's something else that comes along to screw up that promise, like it's meant to be, like it's the catalyst for a challenge in one's life. Everything seems "normal", you say you can do something, and out of the blue, something happens to make it where you cannot fulfill your promise. I don't see that as a coincidence.
I was going to write a book....I was going to make a good amount of money, things were going to be great, but, fate stepped in, and things worked out to where none of that happened. It's hilarious to me, how we humans seem to not notice how that works. Always, when we make plans, we see how happy things are going to be, and then, BAM, everything goes sour. In an instant.
We live these lives thinking it's all random, there's not a control mechanism at hand, but what if, just, what if, there *IS*?
No, it's all about learning. We learn through adversity. Everything can seem to be going right, and then something happens to make it *NOT* all right, and our world turns to shit.
We learn from it, but, in my case, what I have learned is that there are no good things scheduled for my life, without a good measure of the "not good" going hand in hand. I can't have a happy, normal life, where I have the fucking money to pay my bills, and be ok. No, that's too much to ask.
In the grand scheme of things, I am made to suffer through the non ability to provide for myself, let alone anyone else, it's how the "system" works.
I am doomed to a life where I get to learn what it's like to disappoint the ones I love over and over again, and not be able to follow up on my promises, even when it seems it's a sure thing.
I'm done with it, I'll learn what I have to learn, but I am done making promises. Obviously, there's not a chance in hell I will be able to follow up on them.
I won't make any more promises, because I hate disappointing those I love.
Let life happen as it will, if I end up broke, and alone, so be it.
It's better than disappointing those I love.
End of story......
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
And...writing some more....
Hi friends, it's been a day, like all other days, well, except for the fact that I'm writing a novel.
It's pretty well taken over my thought process. Well, that, and making sure I post every day here on my blog.
I am making a commitment to committing to things, and sticking with them.
And the NaNoWriMo challenge is part of that. But even if I didn't have that, I'd still be committed to writing here on my blog.
The funny thing is, it's becoming less of a commitment, and more of a way of life. It's just what I do, now, I go to work, I come home, and I write, here, on my blog, and I write my novel.
I think that's the way it's supposed to work out though, that's how "they", whoever they are, train you to always be writing. They give you a monthly challenge, and then, if you are dedicated and committed to it, you find yourself doing it as a habit, and then, it's no longer a challenge. You just do it as a way of life, and that's what it seems I'm doing.
I wrote 1,905 words today on my novel, still ahead of the goal of 1,667 per day. I intend to keep it that way, and if my instinct is correct, I have a feeling that within the next few days, or perhaps a week, I will be writing more than double that each day, because by then, it will be a habit.
I'm writing, and writing more, and again, writing more. It is what I do, it's what I am, and I'm pretty happy about it.
I hope all of you have a great day doing what it is that YOU do.
It's pretty well taken over my thought process. Well, that, and making sure I post every day here on my blog.
I am making a commitment to committing to things, and sticking with them.
And the NaNoWriMo challenge is part of that. But even if I didn't have that, I'd still be committed to writing here on my blog.
The funny thing is, it's becoming less of a commitment, and more of a way of life. It's just what I do, now, I go to work, I come home, and I write, here, on my blog, and I write my novel.
I think that's the way it's supposed to work out though, that's how "they", whoever they are, train you to always be writing. They give you a monthly challenge, and then, if you are dedicated and committed to it, you find yourself doing it as a habit, and then, it's no longer a challenge. You just do it as a way of life, and that's what it seems I'm doing.
I wrote 1,905 words today on my novel, still ahead of the goal of 1,667 per day. I intend to keep it that way, and if my instinct is correct, I have a feeling that within the next few days, or perhaps a week, I will be writing more than double that each day, because by then, it will be a habit.
I'm writing, and writing more, and again, writing more. It is what I do, it's what I am, and I'm pretty happy about it.
I hope all of you have a great day doing what it is that YOU do.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Writing, writing, writing....
Hi folks. Just a short and sweet post tonight, I got up later than usual, and now I don't have the time to really get into anything deep lol.
I wrote more of my novel today, and I'm on track to finish it by the 28th. That's the beauty of writing more than the "required" 1,667 words per day. But that's not what it's all about. I am really enjoying just the writing, it feels like I am just typing the words, and the book is writing itself.
I was talking to a friend about it today, and came up with a great idea for the beginning of the third chapter, that should change the dynamic of the book in a way I've not seen done very often. But time will tell, by the time I get to that point in writing it, things may change.
So that's about it for today, I've got to go and get ready for work now.
Have a pleasant evening everyone, and I will talk to you again tomorrow!
I wrote more of my novel today, and I'm on track to finish it by the 28th. That's the beauty of writing more than the "required" 1,667 words per day. But that's not what it's all about. I am really enjoying just the writing, it feels like I am just typing the words, and the book is writing itself.
I was talking to a friend about it today, and came up with a great idea for the beginning of the third chapter, that should change the dynamic of the book in a way I've not seen done very often. But time will tell, by the time I get to that point in writing it, things may change.
So that's about it for today, I've got to go and get ready for work now.
Have a pleasant evening everyone, and I will talk to you again tomorrow!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
NaNoWriMo!
Hi folks! I wanted to tell you a little more about my latest challenge I got myself into, NaNoWriMo.
It's a lot like NaBloWriMo, where you write every day, but this is about writing a book. A 50,000 word novel, a work of fiction, in 30 days. It doesn't necessarily have to be finished, but the goal is to write 50,000 words of it. To do that, you need to write at least 1,667 words per day. Well, today, I am proud to say, I wrote 1,843 of them!
And, they have a neat widget, that you can see on my sidebar over there, that shows your progress as you go along, so even if I don't mention it, you can see how far I've gotten in meeting the goal!
I really want to see this challenge through, and I want to try to keep writing after it's done. I think that having a time limit is a real motivation to get it done. And, I wanted to see if I could in fact write a novel, as it's something of a dream of mine, that I've had for a while now, but I never have tried to do it.
So, wish me luck, and, if you want to check out more about what NaNoWriMo is all about, and try it yourself, it's easy. Just go to www.nanowrimo.org, and see!
Have a great night folks!
It's a lot like NaBloWriMo, where you write every day, but this is about writing a book. A 50,000 word novel, a work of fiction, in 30 days. It doesn't necessarily have to be finished, but the goal is to write 50,000 words of it. To do that, you need to write at least 1,667 words per day. Well, today, I am proud to say, I wrote 1,843 of them!
And, they have a neat widget, that you can see on my sidebar over there, that shows your progress as you go along, so even if I don't mention it, you can see how far I've gotten in meeting the goal!
I really want to see this challenge through, and I want to try to keep writing after it's done. I think that having a time limit is a real motivation to get it done. And, I wanted to see if I could in fact write a novel, as it's something of a dream of mine, that I've had for a while now, but I never have tried to do it.
So, wish me luck, and, if you want to check out more about what NaNoWriMo is all about, and try it yourself, it's easy. Just go to www.nanowrimo.org, and see!
Have a great night folks!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Day 31: Happy Halloween/Happy Samhain!
Well this is it, the last day of NaBloWriMo, I did it, I posted every single day!
I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween, or Samhain, whichever you celebrate!
Tomorrow starts something new for me, I'm going to attempt the NaNoWriMo challenge.....that's right, I'm going to try to write a novel!
NaNoWriMo works a lot like NaBloWriMo, you have to write a 50,000 word novel in one month, the month of November. I'm still going to post here on my blog as well, but writing a novel, wow, well, that's going to be a challenge!
I think I can do it, and time will tell, but either way, I'm going to try.
I'll post more about it tomorrow, but for now, everyone just wish me luck!
I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween, or Samhain, whichever you celebrate!
Tomorrow starts something new for me, I'm going to attempt the NaNoWriMo challenge.....that's right, I'm going to try to write a novel!
NaNoWriMo works a lot like NaBloWriMo, you have to write a 50,000 word novel in one month, the month of November. I'm still going to post here on my blog as well, but writing a novel, wow, well, that's going to be a challenge!
I think I can do it, and time will tell, but either way, I'm going to try.
I'll post more about it tomorrow, but for now, everyone just wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Day 30: It's almost the end....or could it be the beginning?
Today is the 30th day of NaBloWriMo. I haven't missed a day this month, which actually kind of surprised me. You see, I have issues with commitment. Not in relationships, mind you, but I usually have issues with committing myself to something, and then sticking with it, especially if I get bored. However, that's one thing I can say, doing this writing challenge has definitely not been boring, it's been pretty fun.
But, back to my commitment issues. In the past, I have even found ways of leaving jobs because they got tedious, even though I knew they were paying me pretty well for doing what I was doing. I never just quit and left though, I would always end up doing something like calling in sick too many times, or having such a poor work performance that they had no choice but to let me go.
I couldn't even commit myself to quitting one job to go find another. Or to look for another BEFORE I quit. I could just say that I'm lazy, but that doesn't really describe it either. It's not that simple. It's the commitment to doing something that I lack. I think part of it is that I don't see the end result of something really getting me anywhere, so I just mosey along, going through the motions, hoping that something else will come my way that IS better. I've never really put in the work it takes to really get ahead, with anything I've done.
I'm 41 years old, and have nothing to show for having lived that long. I don't own a house, I've never bought a car for anything other than a small amount of cash, I have lousy credit, and, I don't even have a bank account.
But, what kind of life COULD I have had?
Now, I know, doing the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thing doesn't really help, but for the sake of me describing the scenario here, I need to do it. So, here's what my life has been like up to this point.
Let's see, well, for starters, at one time, I was an ASE certified Master Technician. If I had committed to making my way in that business, I could have at this point been making at least 40 thousand a year, and been doing pretty well. I started out working for a retail store that had a tire, alignment, and battery shop, making, by the time I left, about 9 dollars an hour, not bad pay back then. Then, I worked a few "quick lube" jobs, before finally landing a job at a dealership, at which, by the time I left, I was making 12 dollars an hour. But without committing myself to the REAL money to be made, I never invested in the tools I would need to get there, and I never pursued a job with better pay, thinking myself "stuck", so, I left the business entirely, thinking that a college degree would get me that "great paying" job.
Then, in 2007, I obtained an Associates degree in Network Administration (basically a degree in working on computers and computer networks), and for a time, I had a pretty good job, entry level of course, but one that paid 12 dollars an hour. If I had committed myself to working my way up in THAT business, by now I might have had a job making at least twice that, and been doing pretty well. The same thing happened though, I didn't commit to doing what it took to further my career, and I got bored, and eventually got laid off, and was forced to find an alternate form of income, as jobs in the computer industry were hard to come by, once the recession hit.
But no, as it stands, I was not committed to either career, once I saw how much work had to be done to get that far, and now, I don't work in either one. I stock shelves, at night, for less than 9 dollars an hour. And I'm basically broke, most times just a few days after payday.
But here's the thing. This writing challenge, and, a prod or two from my best friend lol, has made me realize that I have a problem, and I have decided to make some changes, to make, for once in my life, a real commitment to something.
To that end, when this month is over, and NaBloWriMo is no more, and a new month begins, I am calling it a new beginning for Perth. November will see me pushing myself more, seeing things through, and along with that, I intend to continue posting here on my blog, every day, unless it is not in my power to do so.
I find it ironic that not only is the day after tomorrow the beginning of a new month, but for us pagans, it's the start of a new year. A new year, a fresh start, this is the time to make a change. Happy Samhain to all my pagan readers!
One other thing. When I considered the circumstances of my life, and why I had chosen to NOT commit, it occurs to me that I did not truly believe in myself enough to think that I could attain the heights I was told could be achieved. So, I pretty much gave up, saying, "What's the use, I'll never get there anyway.....".
That attitude never got me anywhere, and it never got me anything. Yet I still stood there hoping and wishing something would just fall in my lap, and everything would work out in my favor, and I'd finally be successful, have enough money to be comfortable, and be happy.
The world doesn't work that way. You have to have goals, and commit yourself to getting them accomplished, or you will be just like me, drifting from career to career, but never making anything of yourself.
So yes, there's one more day. One more day that I am "required" to post something. And yes, while I am happy that I committed myself to doing it, and have done so, I feel I can do more. I know I can make this a daily habit, for the foreseeable future, and I intend to do so.
Just one commitment, that may seem pretty small, but for me, it's a huge one, and there will be more to follow. I know there are many places I can go, things that I can achieve, but it's going to take commitment.
Oh, and tomorrow, I am going to announce something, well, make something official anyway, that I mentioned in passing a few days ago, but, in keeping with this new commitment initiative, I think it will be a good test of my mettle. It will be a very big challenge, because it's something I've never done before, but I intend to complete it.
Be sure to "tune in" tomorrow to find out what it is!
But, back to my commitment issues. In the past, I have even found ways of leaving jobs because they got tedious, even though I knew they were paying me pretty well for doing what I was doing. I never just quit and left though, I would always end up doing something like calling in sick too many times, or having such a poor work performance that they had no choice but to let me go.
I couldn't even commit myself to quitting one job to go find another. Or to look for another BEFORE I quit. I could just say that I'm lazy, but that doesn't really describe it either. It's not that simple. It's the commitment to doing something that I lack. I think part of it is that I don't see the end result of something really getting me anywhere, so I just mosey along, going through the motions, hoping that something else will come my way that IS better. I've never really put in the work it takes to really get ahead, with anything I've done.
I'm 41 years old, and have nothing to show for having lived that long. I don't own a house, I've never bought a car for anything other than a small amount of cash, I have lousy credit, and, I don't even have a bank account.
But, what kind of life COULD I have had?
Now, I know, doing the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thing doesn't really help, but for the sake of me describing the scenario here, I need to do it. So, here's what my life has been like up to this point.
Let's see, well, for starters, at one time, I was an ASE certified Master Technician. If I had committed to making my way in that business, I could have at this point been making at least 40 thousand a year, and been doing pretty well. I started out working for a retail store that had a tire, alignment, and battery shop, making, by the time I left, about 9 dollars an hour, not bad pay back then. Then, I worked a few "quick lube" jobs, before finally landing a job at a dealership, at which, by the time I left, I was making 12 dollars an hour. But without committing myself to the REAL money to be made, I never invested in the tools I would need to get there, and I never pursued a job with better pay, thinking myself "stuck", so, I left the business entirely, thinking that a college degree would get me that "great paying" job.
Then, in 2007, I obtained an Associates degree in Network Administration (basically a degree in working on computers and computer networks), and for a time, I had a pretty good job, entry level of course, but one that paid 12 dollars an hour. If I had committed myself to working my way up in THAT business, by now I might have had a job making at least twice that, and been doing pretty well. The same thing happened though, I didn't commit to doing what it took to further my career, and I got bored, and eventually got laid off, and was forced to find an alternate form of income, as jobs in the computer industry were hard to come by, once the recession hit.
But no, as it stands, I was not committed to either career, once I saw how much work had to be done to get that far, and now, I don't work in either one. I stock shelves, at night, for less than 9 dollars an hour. And I'm basically broke, most times just a few days after payday.
But here's the thing. This writing challenge, and, a prod or two from my best friend lol, has made me realize that I have a problem, and I have decided to make some changes, to make, for once in my life, a real commitment to something.
To that end, when this month is over, and NaBloWriMo is no more, and a new month begins, I am calling it a new beginning for Perth. November will see me pushing myself more, seeing things through, and along with that, I intend to continue posting here on my blog, every day, unless it is not in my power to do so.
I find it ironic that not only is the day after tomorrow the beginning of a new month, but for us pagans, it's the start of a new year. A new year, a fresh start, this is the time to make a change. Happy Samhain to all my pagan readers!
One other thing. When I considered the circumstances of my life, and why I had chosen to NOT commit, it occurs to me that I did not truly believe in myself enough to think that I could attain the heights I was told could be achieved. So, I pretty much gave up, saying, "What's the use, I'll never get there anyway.....".
That attitude never got me anywhere, and it never got me anything. Yet I still stood there hoping and wishing something would just fall in my lap, and everything would work out in my favor, and I'd finally be successful, have enough money to be comfortable, and be happy.
The world doesn't work that way. You have to have goals, and commit yourself to getting them accomplished, or you will be just like me, drifting from career to career, but never making anything of yourself.
So yes, there's one more day. One more day that I am "required" to post something. And yes, while I am happy that I committed myself to doing it, and have done so, I feel I can do more. I know I can make this a daily habit, for the foreseeable future, and I intend to do so.
Just one commitment, that may seem pretty small, but for me, it's a huge one, and there will be more to follow. I know there are many places I can go, things that I can achieve, but it's going to take commitment.
Oh, and tomorrow, I am going to announce something, well, make something official anyway, that I mentioned in passing a few days ago, but, in keeping with this new commitment initiative, I think it will be a good test of my mettle. It will be a very big challenge, because it's something I've never done before, but I intend to complete it.
Be sure to "tune in" tomorrow to find out what it is!
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| Pic from affirmyourlife.blogspot.com |
Monday, October 29, 2012
Day 29: Tomorrow morning, I vote
Hi folks, only 2 days left in the month now....it's been a fun ride. I still want to continue posting however, every day, and I think I will.....I'd feel weird not doing it, now that I've gotten into the habit.
Tomorrow morning after I get off work I am going to the polls for early voting, so I don't have to try to beat the crowds on election day. I'm not going to mention here anything about who or what I am voting for, because I feel that it's a personal choice, and I'd rather not talk about it, that way, I do not affect anyone else's decision. I highly recommend going and voting, even if you've never done it before (just make sure you are indeed registered to vote first lol), because every vote does count.
A lot of people say, "What does one vote matter?", but that's just the thing, there are a LOT of people that say that, and that means something. You're not the only one. All those people that don't vote because they think one vote doesn't matter add up to lots of votes, votes that DO matter. So go out and vote, either early, like I am, or on election day, whichever you choose.
Ok, time to get down off my soap box and get ready to go to work lol.
I hope everyone has a great evening, and also, my prayers go out to those affected by Hurricane Sandy, may you all be safe.
Tomorrow morning after I get off work I am going to the polls for early voting, so I don't have to try to beat the crowds on election day. I'm not going to mention here anything about who or what I am voting for, because I feel that it's a personal choice, and I'd rather not talk about it, that way, I do not affect anyone else's decision. I highly recommend going and voting, even if you've never done it before (just make sure you are indeed registered to vote first lol), because every vote does count.
A lot of people say, "What does one vote matter?", but that's just the thing, there are a LOT of people that say that, and that means something. You're not the only one. All those people that don't vote because they think one vote doesn't matter add up to lots of votes, votes that DO matter. So go out and vote, either early, like I am, or on election day, whichever you choose.
Ok, time to get down off my soap box and get ready to go to work lol.
I hope everyone has a great evening, and also, my prayers go out to those affected by Hurricane Sandy, may you all be safe.
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