Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Thinking.....and sharing.....too much?

As many of you know, I am separated from my wife, and rooming with friends, so for all intents and purposes, I live alone. My roommates and I have vastly different schedules, so we do not interact much, and I spend the majority of my time off work alone in my room. I don't have a lot of the daily distractions of family and the hustle and bustle that many of you do, so I have a lot of time to think.

That's not to say I'm "alone" however, as I do spend a lot of time chatting with friends online. I have 3 very special people in my life that I chat with regularly. Each one of those people have a very different personality, and also very different methods of communication, when compared to one another. However, as this "weekend" of mine progressed, each one of them gave me, in their own unique way, something to think about. My emotions have gone from some of the highest highs to some of the lowest lows I have experienced in quite some time.

While I would rather not share the details of the conversations, I do want to say that I learned a lot. About myself, about people in general, and about life. It's funny sometimes, how just a few words written on a computer screen can make you feel so happy, or so sad. In this case, I saw how differently people interact with one another, and how they share their feelings. It got me to considering how I share mine. 

Here on my blog, I share a lot, and in a chat, even more so, especially to those I feel are close to me. After this weekend however, I wonder if I share too much. How much of my life, or my feelings, is too much to share? Some people are fine with hearing everything, or a lot, and others would rather not hear much at all. Further, how much should I be comfortable sharing? These are questions I hadn't really considered before.

I have never been known for my brevity. No matter what it is I'm talking about, whether it be my knowledge of cars, or computers, or anything else, I like to try to convey as many details as possible. The same goes for my own opinions and emotions too. I like to tell someone EXACTLY what is on my mind, and often, it takes many words to do so. But is that really necessary? Probably not.

Different people process information in different ways. Regardless of the subject matter, the way a person internally processes information in many ways also determines the way they communicate, or externally verbalize their thoughts. One person may have thoughts that travel in a sort of line, one after the other, in a logical sequence, while another may have a jumble of thoughts in a "pile", that they process in a "hit or miss" sort of fashion, until a particular problem is worked out. In my case, my brain uses a sort of "compartmentalized" fashion, putting things in "boxes", which means that each subject has its own "region" of my thoughts. When I think about something, for instance, car repair, I can then access that "box" in my mind, which, after 10 years of working in that field, makes for a veritable database of information for me to retrieve. If I'm about to do an engine replacement on a particular car, I access the information I need to do that job, but the thoughts don't come "step by step", more often, I "see" the entire job, the engine literally coming apart, in my mind, all at one time. This method of storage and retrieval works well in that line of work, because once I had seen and performed a specific repair several times, I remembered it, as it happened, and then the next time I had to do it, I could "see" it happen before I placed the first wrench on it, or the next time I had to diagnose a problem, I could literally "see" what the solution should be.

The same method works well for just about any industry or subject that can be compartmentalized, or rather, when all the information can be accessed all at once. Computers? Easy. Easier than cars in fact. Fewer moving parts. Their construction is so simple it's comical. Even laptops, while the technology is smaller, are built very similarly, so to me, they are just as easy to work on. Washers? Dryers? Dishwashers? TV's? Game consoles? Child's play. You name it, if it's a mechanical or electronic device that can be disassembled and repaired and reassembled, I find it easy to learn and remember what steps are required to accomplish those tasks. I have also found in learning about mechanical and electronic equipment that many correlations can be made between one type of device and another, mainly in how they are constructed and in how they operate. To me, gears are gears, and circuit boards are circuit boards, no matter what device they may be in, they all basically work the same way. Having a vast database of knowledge on many different types of equipment means I can often take something I have never seen or worked on before, and can make a diagnosis as to what's wrong with it, and can determine how to disassemble and reassemble it without having any previous experience with that particular device.

As you can plainly see however, as the above 2 paragraphs demonstrated, this method of thinking also means that I attempt to communicate in the same "compartmentalized" manner. All of the thoughts come at one time, in one big "box", and therefore, I try to share all of that information at once. It's impossible to communicate many thoughts simultaneously however, so then, what comes out of my mouth, or what is typed into a computer, is a tediously long string of pieces of information, one after the other. However, many of those pieces could probably be left out without diminishing the main thought I am attempting to communicate.

That's what I'm talking about when it comes to how much I should share.

Most people don't want to hear so much information in such a short time, they just aren't THAT interested. Sure, sometimes, when it pertains to something they are passionate about, they ARE interested, and would probably listen or read for hours on the subject. But many other times, the opposite is true. People want the "Reader's Digest" version, give them the main facts, and a little explanation, and that's good enough. They then form their own opinion or thoughts on the matter, and they're done with it. Again, the subject matter is not important. Whatever it is, don't draw it out, and don't share too much, it's just plain boring, and in some cases, gets a little creepy.

So I wonder, DO I share too much? I believe the answer is an unequivocal YES!

Fortunately a "problem" like this is easy to fix. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself. Simple. I'll keep my mouth shut. Give them the basics, and let them run with it, let them make their own assumptions and opinions about it.

No, I'm not going to stop sharing all together. I'm just going to share LESS. You'll still hear my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings, but you won't hear everything. It's not necessary, and not important.

Now, I want YOU to share. Give me YOUR thoughts. How do you share, and how much? If you actually made it this far down in this post without your eyes glazing over, did you think I shared too much? What is YOUR opinion on what is "too much" sharing? I am interested in hearing some other points of view. 

Thanks for your time, see you all again soon.

1 comment:

  1. why share less be yourself honestly i love when we talk you help me through so much.