Tuesday, February 21, 2012

New perspectives

I've been away for a while, but now, I'm back. My perspective has changed, more than any of you realize, so this is now going to be a very different blog. Those few who have the privilege of being close to me understand what has gone on in the last few months, and specifically what has happened in the last 3 weeks, which has changed me in such a fundamental way, and I doubt I will ever be what I was before. That's how deep this goes.

I have always posted about my feelings, and my innermost thoughts, and I will still do that, but that's the thing that has changed the most. I'm not able to explain how that is possible, and to be honest, I don't really care, but the fact is, I am not the man I used to be. Is that "better"? Who knows. Is it worse? I don't know that either. What I do know is that who I am now is the person I was supposed to be all along, without all the drippy emotional parts of me that were doing nothing more than dragging me down into some imaginary abyss of despair that, in reality, doesn't really exist.

I don't even wish I could tell you what it's like to finally to be free of that. None of it matters. It was all inside my own head, and even if some of you could relate to it, there is nothing in my mind that tells me you could say you had in any way, shape, or form, experienced the same thing as me. It was so overwhelming, so life encompassing, that there's no way most of you could have ever functioned as a human being had you felt the same as I did.

Having said that, and hoping you are all still reading lol, I will say this. I will still be posting my thoughts, and "feelings", as they are, but it will not be the same. Life changes, and this just happens to be one of the major changes to happen in this, my life, this lifetime. This change just means that my posts will not have the same "flavor", or feeling they once did. It may seem I am being distant, or even non feeling, but that is natural with this. I am not going to apologize for it, nor am I going to say that I feel any particular way about it, because truthfully, I don't. This is my blog, and I'll write the way I want. End of story.

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled web surfing. 

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