Hi folks, or anyone who stills follows.
It's been a long time since you've heard from me. I'm only writing because those of you who have lives that have stayed idle for 5 years, in other words, nothing has changed, and you still follow blogs on the internet to see how other people live where shit changes, well, shit changes a lot, and in a lot less than 4 or 5 years.
I'm a truck driver now, I only get home every couple of months.
I used to post a lot, I used to think a lot, I USED to have emotions.
Then, I found out why.
When you are reproductive, when your biology tells you that you HAVE to be with someone, well, emotions happen. It's a product of your DNA.
And then, one day, you get past that, and you understand why you thought that way, and then you start living your life a completely different way, without any worry, or care, about what others think of you, and you just start being yourself, and you LIVE, and you do things YOU want.
I have a grandchild now, and I'm only 45, and now I see why I always "felt", rather than seeing reality.
When your genetics tell you that you need to "pair up", you need to "be" with someone, you have a rush of emotions, that you think are your own thoughts, but it's all biological.
I myself had a really tough time learning this, but, maybe some of you, who are smarter than me, can learn from my experience, and not get wrapped up in emotional thinking like I did, which is only motivated by biology.
I have no desire now. No motivation to "fall in love". No desire to "BE with someone". It's all a part or our innate genetic programming to reproduce.
If you are over the age of 45, and you still have that desire, look closely at why you "feel" that way.
Do you already have children? If you don't, then yeah, I'll bet you still are really trying to get with someone. It's genetically programmed into you to do so.
But, I'll bet, if you already have children, and they themselves are like mine, and are at the age to have children themselves, well, you've lost the desire to try to go out and "BE" with people, you've found that all of a sudden, it's "all about the grandkids".
Well, it's just your genetics.
You yourself have already reproduced, so your brain decides that now it's OK, you can now DIE, because there is some other person to continue your genetic line.
Ain't that fucked up?
If you "feel", and you think you need to "be" with someone, think again.
It's biology, your genetics, manipulating you to be someone who you would not be, without that motivation.
Break free from that, forget about it, you don't HAVE to do that.
BE yourself, think only of what you are, and forget about just reproduction.
If I had it to do over, I would have been a completely different man.
I am not the man I was, even 5 years ago, simply because now, my biology has stopped driving me to reproduce, and now I see everything around me as it is, and I no longer desire "being" with someone, I don't desire "companionship", nothing.
Don't make the same mistakes I did.
Don't get caught up in what your biology wants you to be.
Be who you really are, and don't care what others think of you.
Live YOUR life, and don't let your DNA dictate how you act.
I like sex just as much as the next guy, but, the difference now is, I know where that desire is coming from, now, how many of you will learn from my experience, and actually do something about it?
I doubt very many. But, maybe you will surprise me.
Bye for now, see you again, when I have time to write.