Friday, January 29, 2010


Hello there blogland! I haven't seen you in a while, how's it going?

I've been in no mood to write or talk, and life hasn't been all that bad. It's just been different. I mean sure when I last posted there had been a few unusual things going on, but all in all, things that turned out to be not all that bad.

I still haven't found a job, money is still tight, the kids are still kids, I mean life is pretty much the same.

I just haven't felt much like posting, and I still don't. Just not much to say right now. I feel a lot of energy of change, but I always feel that, things are ALWAYS changing. Maybe I'm just in a low point, I don't know, or just a "hey i just don't feel like writing" point. I posted every day there for a bit, so maybe my writing energy got all tapped out, who knows?

All I can say is that I am actively learning and growing, taking advice from people, really listening, instead of just forcing my opinion. It's turning me into a more authentic person, one who is aware of his place in the world.

The shrew and I went to a pastoral counselor tonight. This guy has training in theology and psychology. And that's what he said to me. That I had made a breakthrough when I decided to be less of a compliant person, and be more "authentic", and be myself, with my own opinions. (Mind you I did that years ago) This was a good thing, but that it of course caused trouble with our marriage, in how we got along. Apparently the reason we have issues is that all the unresolved issues from childhood that we have we are looking to get resolved in our spouse. Imago says so. Google that one if you've never heard of it. I hadn't. It's a form of couples therapy. And it makes a lot of sense.

I'm not going to say that talking to this guy is going to save our marriage, because I honestly don't want it saved. I don't want her to change who she is to accommodate me, any more than she wants me to change, or even to change her behavior as this guy had said this therapy would do for the both of us, but at the very least it will help us get along better, and I'm all for getting along.

So, we'll see. Romantically, we are not compatible, our personalities too different, too much going in different directions. But I see no reason we cannot be friends. It's really what we should have been all along, and I was the one that screwed that up by trying to think that I was compatible with her, and acting in such a way that I became so. I was young, and quite naive, but I now know better, and, I've found there may be a way to fix it, and for that, I am happy.

Anyway, nice to see you again, thanks for stopping by. Hope we can chat again soon.

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