I don't know what is going on, but I think the universe is trying very hard to get me to do something, or learn something, because things are just coming left and right.
Tonight my wife was involved in a wreck, yes, everyone is ok, nothing but minor injuries, but her mom's car was totaled. This just a day after my daughter's unforeseen appendectomy surgery. It wasn't an emergency, which is why I think there is a lesson for me with all of this. No one hurt in the wreck, my daughter not having any real danger with her surgery, I mean people have nearly fatal ruptured appendices all the time. So I should count my blessings right? I am certainly doing that, but as I mentioned, I believe there is a lesson in all of this, and not just about how it could have been worse.
Something I mentioned in my post before all this started, well no, right at the same time it started, with my walk home from Wal-mart, was that I need to do what it takes to get a job. I am extremely frustrated with how things have been for us with me being unemployed, but what I have come to realize is that I have never fought for anything, not even myself. This is what I have been missing. This is a time to fight for what I need, for what I want. To get up and start working hard to accomplish getting my family's basic needs met, and then going on to get what we want for ourselves after that is done. Sounds like something pretty simple, but I have always been one to settle for whatever situation life doled out to me, to not rock the boat. It appears that that strategy may have been incorrect, or at least should not be the case all the time.
Anyway the thing is, without going on and on about how much it hurts, how mad I am, or how much I just want to scream, I will refrain from doing so, and get off my ass and do what I need to do. I'm sorry folks if that means you may not hear from me, as I really hope to still post every day, it helps me to sort out my thoughts, but I feel a strong pull to get away from my computer. I can deny it no longer, and I have been fighting the wrong battle for far too long. I know I've said this before, I'm sure of it. I'm sorry. I'm a stubborn person, I don't like to be wrong. Ever. I'm getting choked up right now thinking of all the time I have wasted. But no. I just can't do that. Being sad and feeling sorry isn't going to make it better. It's time for change.
That being said the time for talk is also over. I have been going in circles with this for months, hell even in this post, it's something I do. I'm not going to say "No More!", or "Tomorrow is the start of a new day!", because I have said those before, but nothing has changed. I'm getting too old too fast, and so are my kids, it's high time I acted like a responsible father and took care of them.
Thanks to everyone who has stood by me, and given me support and advice. Now it's my turn to take action. I hope to chat with you soon, only this time, with better news, maybe even to announce that I got a job.