Some good news...and the urge becomes action

Hi folks, how are you this afternoon? Allllrighty then.....

I got some good news last night at work, it looks like I may be officially put on full time status soon!

After having worked 12 straight weeks of full time hours, I asked the manager on duty about being made full time a few days ago, and she said she'd check the status report and get back to me.

I asked her about it last night, and she told me that I was in fact on the list, and that she'd talked to the store manager about me getting full time, and she also said that it would be a minimum of 90 days before I would be eligible for benefits, which makes me think this is really going to happen. She seemed to want to get on with what she was working on, so I didn't get to ask her any more about it, but the fact that at least the ball is finally rolling on this has made me very pleased.

The other thing I did over the weekend was that I got out and went over to a co-worker's house to watch one of the NFL games, and now I can't get the feeling out of my head that I want to go out and do other things. It's amazing that just by going and hanging out at a friend's house that it would do that, but I guess it just put me over the edge of the precipice that my mind was hanging off, halfway wanting to go, halfway wanting to stay.

With all my talk about wanting to go out and do things, I really didn't have the motivation to actually do it. Those closest to me know that it's been an issue of mine for a long time, I talk and I talk and I talk about doing something, or accomplishing some goal, but then it takes an act of congress to get me off of my butt and actually get me started doing something about it.

I thought long and hard about why, and I have to say that it goes back to my feelings of doing what others want, or what I think they want. Somehow in my mind it paralyzes me into inaction, as it is a constant battle in my head as to what I think I want, compared to what I think someone else wants, it doesn't make sense, I know, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is. If I only act on what *I* want to do, or want for myself, it's a lot easier to get going. When I start to second guess myself, and think "What will happen if I do (X thing), will so and so get mad or be upset because of (X thing) changing the schedule, we're spending more money, making things harder all around, etc, etc, etc?", that's when I get all tangled up in my mind and just don't do anything. The thought process there being that as long as things stay the way they are, when "so and so" is not upset or mad at me, then they will *stay* not mad or upset, and everything is fine. Until of course a certain period of time goes by, and then "so and so" is upset that I haven't done anything, so how I take that frame of mind is a mystery in and of itself. Now that I don't have a "so and so" to answer to you'd think I would be running rampant getting things going, and I really don't have a reason, when I think about it, as to why I haven't. So, as it's been overdue, I got something going. A small step for sure, but a step nonetheless, I got out.

Anyway, to sum up, things are moving along, for once, and I hope to keep it going, so stay tuned, good things are going to happen.