Monday, December 6, 2010

30 Days of Truth, Day 5

Something you hope to do in your life.......

I could probably write a book on everything I hope to do in my life, there's so much out there to do!

One of my immediate goals is to learn to play the cello, and I'd like to be able to master it. It's a burning desire I have right now, which is weird to me, because I don't think I've ever had a burning desire for anything before. It's like my life depends on me learning to play a cello. Not as in "I'll die" if I don't, but I mean, I have a feeling it's about someone I will not meet if I am not a cello player, or places I won't end up going. It's like the proverbial fork in the road, one path will lead my life in one direction, and the cello will lead me in another, completely wonderful direction. So, when I can afford to buy one, I'm doing it, and I'm sure I'll find out later on where it will lead me.

The other thing that sticks out in my mind is something I read last night about being a "healer". I've never wanted to be a healer, and yet I have the ability to be one. It's like the video game, you never want to be the healer, you want to be the guy in the party that's out front, kicking all the butt, not the guy who hangs out in back because he's weak and can only cast healing spells on his much more robust and manly comrades, it's just so undignified. I know how ridiculous that sounds for real life, but that's the analogy that plays out in my head. I don't want to be the weak one who is just there to heal others, I want to be the one kicking the bad guys butt, hard. I know for a fact that me being a healer won't involve healing bodies though, medical things have never been something I have been comfortable dealing with, at least not to do for a job. I can deal with it, it's not that, the sight of blood doesn't make me squeamish or anything, it's just not my "thing".

I think rather I am meant to be a healer of minds, a sort of psychiatrist, but deeper than just the mind, more like the soul. I can't explain the thought precisely, but it's like making order out of chaos. So, while for so long I denied and fought against my "calling", and oh yeah, I've heard the call many times and just ignored it, now I've decided to embrace my role, and start healing people like I am able to do. I'm not talking necessarily going out and getting a job doing it, I mean just doing it with people I come in contact with, those I work with, people I meet online, they are in my life for a reason, and sometimes that reason might be to help them heal.

One other thing I'd like to do in my life is to find financial freedom, have a vocation that pays well enough that I'm not living paycheck to paycheck like I do now. I feel like that's coming in the future as well, if I continue to follow my path and listen to the signs I'm given as I go along. I'm here in this life for a reason, to learn and to grow, and with that growth will come good things. I think that resisting that growth, and not learning, that's what causes problems, it causes life to get bogged down in stale, useless energy. That takes a lot to work out of, and I don't want to do that anymore, I can remember several times in my life when that's exactly what was happening. The only constant in the universe is change, so change is to be embraced, and ridden like a wave, it's the ride, not the destination that's important.

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