Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My day with the girls......and other things

I went to see my girls yesterday, and of course had to deal with my ex, which is a lot of times not a good situation, but this time, it was a very pleasant experience.

I've had a lot of work done on my car, so now I'm able to go see them more often, and I'm hoping things continue to go well, especially with the ex. She is very controlling, likes to dictate to me how things are going to go, without even considering my opinion on whatever subject there is at hand. Yesterday however, she was very sociable.

Things started out with me going to check on her truck, which has a door issue, as in, the driver's door wouldn't close, period. The latch is messed up because the door is sagging, mostly due to age and normal wear and tear. Well 10 minutes after I got there, I had it fixed, or at least to where it will close for now. She was still at work, so all I did was tell her what was up with it, and told her what needed to be done to fix it. Then I went to pick up my 2 older daughters at school.

The car circle is always a "fun" venture, and since I got there a few minutes early, I had to sit and wait to pick them up, but I occupied myself by reading a book on my Nook. Awesome little things, those e-readers lol. Then finally when the line began to move, I made it to the front in a pretty short time and found my middle daughter, Alex, patiently waiting for me, but my oldest, Liz, was nowhere to be found, so I picked up Alex and continued down the rest of the line and found a place to park in the parking lot. As soon as I got parked, I look up to find Liz jumping around like a banshee in the exact spot I had JUST left! So I go over to get her, and she acts like she doesn't want to be see me, or be seen WITH me......typical teen (she'll be 15 in about a month), but she did give me a hug when we got to the car.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I got them home, and shortly thereafter my ex met me there with the youngest, Teagan. We then got into my car and headed to Nashville to take her to her tryout for the Nashville Children's Choir, which is the whole reason I went over there to start with, since the ex's truck was having issues, and she is having difficulty finding money for gas in that behemoth (a 1993 Dodge Ramcharger). Everything went well with that, Teagan will probably get selected to be in the choir, but we won't find out for sure until they send the letter sometime next month. It's not that hard to get in, seems as long as you can carry a tune in a bucket they let you in, but you never know.

After that we went around to the "picturesque" part of the campus (the choir is based out of Belmont University) and took some pics, and let the girls run around for a bit, while the ex and I talked. She is still trying to convince me to come back to her, so she was very nice, and discussed with me some of the things going on with the kids, as well as some things going on over the summer. She asked me if things with her were all that bad, and I told her (again, for like the 50th time) that it wasn't her, it was me, I had not been honest with myself for the whole time I was with her, in that I was not happy. It's just a matter of compatibility, I told her, and we are not compatible. She didn't say much more about it, and we headed home shortly thereafter.

I ate dinner with them, sloppy joes, leftover chicken nuggets and fries, and some kind of leftover hamburger helper......guess it was leftover night. With new sloppy joes. It was good though. Shortly after eating I headed back home, it was late, and I was tired. I had gotten up at 4 in the morning, since on my days off I sleep at night like the rest of the world lol. I don't like leaving them, the girls, they are so sad when I go. They just want me to come back, and they don't understand it's not that easy. I can't live with their mother, and be in a relationship with her, because I know full well what would happen if I did. She'd be fine for a few weeks, maybe even a month, but then she'd go back to what she was doing before, and dictating to me every little thing, telling me even how I should think. It's in her personality, and I don't believe someone can change their personality.

So that was it in a nutshell, my visit with the girls. It was fun and I got the chance to spend time with them, they are growing up so fast. Soon I will have to teach Liz how to drive, I can't believe it. We'll have to find a car that's not a stick shift first though, I think trying to teach her on that will be a little much, too much to think about at one time.

In other news, I've gotten into a sort of routine at work, and it's going well. I enjoy what I do, and hopefully as time passes there will be opportunities to learn other departments, I want to know as many as I can, so I can be more versatile, and besides, I just love filling the shelves lol. It's because I know then that there is merchandise for the customers to buy, and isn't that the name of the game? Don't you hate it when you go to a store and they don't have what you normally buy there? Me too, which is why I am so passionate about what I do.

There's more change on the horizon, I can feel it, but isn't that the way it always is? If there is not change, then there is nothing. Nothing moving, nothing progressing, nothing happening. So it's kind of a moot point to say things are changing. They ALWAYS change. It's only in our own opinions whether we see the change as good or bad. The thing is, it's neither. Everything happens just as it should, so any change is just that, just change. The day changes, the year changes, the season's change, the only constant is change. It's in how we perceive the change that is the problem. If we don't look at things as "bad" or "good", but as things that happen as they should, then we don't see the world in the same way at all. Things that before seemed like horrible "bad" things, like war, disease, natural disasters, and death, all become neutral, just as the "good" things like love and peace and birth and weddings and (lol) chocolate ice cream. Something to think about. Hard to put into practice, surely, but something to think about.

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