Saturday, September 15, 2012

Special....You think you're do....

For those of you that are familiar, you recognized my post title as the first lines of the lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song "My Way". For those not familiar, here's the official video.....

As you can see, it's a song about a person who's fed up with having to follow someone else's way of doing things, and has decided to do things their own way. As you hear in the song, he says "It's my way, my way or the highway!"

But that's not the main reason why I am sharing this. That first line, the one that says "You think you're special", that's what's important here. Because I believe that I've found the answer to a question that has plagued me for most of my life.

 I've heard people tell me I'm "special", but, am I?

It's been said that everyone is unique, and therefore "special". I couldn't wrap my mind around that conclusion however, because it's a paradox. If EVERYONE is special, then doesn't that mean that NO ONE is? Allow me to elaborate on my thought process, by showing you another video, this one from the movie "The Incredibles", where the villian, "Sydrome", explains how he's going to make everyone "super".....

Now of course, this is a movie, completely fiction, as none of us (that we know of) has "superpowers", but the idea is the same. If everyone is "special", then doesn't that mean that no one is? 

I found out recently that in fact, we are. All of us. We are all special. I am, you are, the guy down at the corner convenience store, all of us. And do you know why? 

You, me, everyone else on the planet, we are the only one of our kind. We are the only one who is who we are, and as such, we have our own "perspective" on life (had to plug that word in there, you know, it's "me"), we each have our own talents and gifts, and most importantly, we are each very special to someone else, whether it be a companion, our parents, our children, our coworkers, or even the guy down at the convenience store at the corner who sees us every day. 

Just because everyone is "special", it doesn't mean that none of us are. It really does mean that each and every one of us, including YOU, are special. It's not a paradox at all. Our uniqueness is what makes each of us special in our own right. It doesn't even matter if you think that no one else thinks you're special either. You are, just because you are the only YOU there is. Even if you think that no one else on the planet cares about you, or whether or not you think you have any talents, gifts, or anything to offer, you are indeed a special person, because no one else is YOU.

Now, getting back to my original reference, the Limp Bizkit song, isn't it fitting then that if you are indeed special, unique, your own person, shouldn't you then be able to decide that you want to do things YOUR WAY? Hell yes!

I think it's logical that if we are all special, unique beings, then we should not be inclined to follow anyone else, or do things just as others do them, to try to "fit in". If we are all special, then we should follow our own way, and do things, live our lives, as we alone see fit. Why worry about how others think of you? Live your life as the song says, "it's my way or the highway!"

When you really realize that you are your own person, unique, and just as special as everyone else, then all the worry about whether or not you are loved by anyone, or whether or not you "fit in" melts away. You will find that you want to do everything exactly as YOU want to do it, because no one else is just like you, and no one else can see the things you see, or understand the world just like you do. No one. Not even your spouse, your parents, your siblings, or your children. Sure, there are lots of similarities, you find you get along with people and tend to congregate with those who have some of the same likes and dislikes as you, and you find people who you want to have around you a lot, but, when it comes down to it, no one else on the planet can view the world through YOUR eyes. You can do a lot for yourself if you decide to be the person you are, rather than trying to be what you aren't to please other people. They see the world through their own eyes, and their view is different, so anything you do to try to make them see things YOUR way will not make it so.

If you want to be truly happy, the only way to do that is to live your life the way YOU see it will make you happy. If the people around you do not make you happy, then find people that DO. If you think your life sucks, you hate your job, you're pissed off at your companion because they just don't "understand" you, then make a change. Do what YOU want to do, because yes, you are special enough, you ARE worth it. If it's important to YOU, then it matters. 

"But it's hard", you say. "I can't leave (insert random person's name here)". "I have responsibilities to take care of (insert other random names here)". Yes, life gives us things we "have" to do, like find a way to make money, or take care of the children we created. But that doesn't mean that you have to lose who you are in the process. You have every right to be who you are, and live your life as you see fit. Yes, sometimes, we all have to do things that we don't really want to do. No one is immune from that. No one said this was an anarchy, and that we can just do anything we want to do, with no consequences. We all find that we have to have jobs, to make money to survive on, but if the job you have doesn't make you happy, then why not change it? There IS a job or career out there that you will love, you only have to think about what it is you want to do, what you love to do, and make it happen, for YOU. 

You're not happy in your relationship? Then change it. You have the right as a human being to be with the person that makes you happy to be with them. Your unique personality is going to be special to someone out there, and the way to find that someone is to be who you really are. Don't try to cater to someone else's whims because you happen to find them attractive. If you don't "click" in the way you feel is right for you, don't change yourself to make them more attracted to you, because you will never be happy. 

If you're looking for another person's approval, trust me when I tell you, you will NEVER get it, not in the way you want it. Do you know why? Because they are unique, and special, just like you, and they see the world in a completely different way than you do. Do what YOU feel right doing, because no one else's opinion on that matters. Your parents wanted you to be a doctor, or a lawyer, and they're disappointed because you flip burgers at McDonald's? Does that job make you happy? If you answered YES, then that's all that matters. There's no law that says that you have to live up to what anyone, and I mean ANYONE else thinks that YOU ought to be. If it's what you want, if it's what makes YOU happy, then it's the right thing to do. For YOU. Your companion doesn't like the fact that you would rather be at homemaker, than go out and get a job? Then do what YOU want, and make yourself happy taking care of your home, find someone who understands that, and loves that about you. 

It seems like an oxymoron, I mean, money is tight these days, no one ever seems to have enough, but, if you yourself are not comfortable with your existence, with whoever it is, then why should you have to cater to what someone else thinks you need to be doing? Only you can change your life, to make YOU happy, you have that right as a human being to do what YOU want, to be with who YOU want to be with, and if you're not happy with your present situation, then only YOU can change it to the point to where you ARE. 

Make your own way, make YOU happy.

You, yes, I'm talking to YOU, the one who's reading this, right now, YOU are special. You are the only one who can be YOU. It really CAN be "your way, or the highway". It's up to you to make it happen.

You are special, because you are the only YOU on the planet, the only YOU that has ever been, or ever will be.

Make the most out of being special, because no one else can.

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