Monday, March 1, 2010

The universe heard

In my last post I was talking about how I wanted to be on my own, and not to have to answer to anyone else.

Well, the universe must have heard me, because lo and behold, I was offered a room at a friend's house. I will finally be free!!

Having said that, the prospects of being away from my daughters are not pleasant, but I know I am doing the right thing, for in the long term, this will benefit them financially, as well as mentally, not having to see their parents argue all the time.

I have been harping on leaving and getting out for so long now, but up until recently, I was of a completely different mindset, always there was the filter, how would she think about it, how would she react? I felt the shift when my thought process changed, when I really began thinking solely for myself, and not for how she might think.

Sounds pretty kindergarten, not something someone my age should be just finding out, but I really never have thought solely on my own in my mind even, never consciously allowed myself to say it was ok to have my own thoughts, I have always thought of how I should think that wouldn't offend or bother one party or another.

Wow that was a mouthful, but what I mean to say is that I gave up thinking how others might think.

Now I can start to live MY life.

1 comment:

  1. Congrats on you're new place. That's awesome. I'm so happy for you. I can relate to the not thinking for yourself and always thinking how the other might feel or what they think you should do. Everything I've thought or done in the last 20 years has been based on what he wanted. If I had my own opinion or thoughts on things, it was "no you're wrong." or something of that nature. But always demeaning regardless.

    You will finally have a chance to breathe and live for you. I hope all goes well. Brightest Blessings!