In my last post I was talking about how I wanted to be on my own, and not to have to answer to anyone else.
Well, the universe must have heard me, because lo and behold, I was offered a room at a friend's house. I will finally be free!!
Having said that, the prospects of being away from my daughters are not pleasant, but I know I am doing the right thing, for in the long term, this will benefit them financially, as well as mentally, not having to see their parents argue all the time.
I have been harping on leaving and getting out for so long now, but up until recently, I was of a completely different mindset, always there was the filter, how would she think about it, how would she react? I felt the shift when my thought process changed, when I really began thinking solely for myself, and not for how she might think.
Sounds pretty kindergarten, not something someone my age should be just finding out, but I really never have thought solely on my own in my mind even, never consciously allowed myself to say it was ok to have my own thoughts, I have always thought of how I should think that wouldn't offend or bother one party or another.
Wow that was a mouthful, but what I mean to say is that I gave up thinking how others might think.
Now I can start to live MY life.