Saturday, April 24, 2010


After a talk with my best friend, and then a talk with the ex a few hours later, I have come to a conclusion, and that is that I need to get my priorities straight.

I have been trying to reach out to people, females in particular, since I left my wife. Not always with romance in mind, but I have done so to try to fulfill a need to be loved. I have been looking for love from others, before finding it in myself, and that's not how it works. I have to be happy with myself, love myself first, before I can love anyone else and make them happy.

This journey I'm on is taking me on a path of self discovery, to find my true self.  To not see things through the eyes of anyone else. That's the way I've been seeing things my entire life, looking to others to decide who I am, what I should be. That's what has to change.

I intend to accomplish this finding of myself by concentrating on my work, earning my living, and when I'm not at work, concentrating on improving myself, meditating, reading, learning, not chasing after women. This "need" for the company of a woman is not a necessity or a priority right now, not until I am whole in myself. This I believe is why I am here, in this situation, to learn who I really am, to become whole.

So I have a new goal. Today I start to find myself. I'll be here from time to time to write about it.

I hope everyone has a great day.

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