I've decided to change my name to reflect my new path in life, and with it, I've changed my blog to suit, with a new layout. It's like me, a work in progress, but soon I hope to have it completed, with everything where it should be and colored so everything can be read easily.
I am now Perthro Pathfinder. Perthro is the rune of lots, the "lot cup" in many definitions, meaning the sign of chances, unforeseen and unexpected changes, and I think that fits my thought process and way of perceiving my path at this point. Pathfinder I chose because I know now that I am on the right path, the one I am supposed to be traveling, without the expectations I had before, things I felt were the "steps" I would achieve on the road of spiritual growth.
Life, nor especially spiritual growth, isn't about expectations, things don't and won't go as you expect, life is for living, being alive, and letting fate decide what happens, along with making your own choices for how you will think and act. Your path is your own, and while there is a sort of "destination" in the form of the ultimate spiritual enlightenment, it's the journey that's the most important. Sure you can have goals, aspirations, but I believe that you should not expect that along the path to spiritual growth that things will happen in a particular order, or in a specific time frame that you "specify", and that, my friends, is where I was so wrong.
If you are one of my facebook friends (if not, send me a request and I'll add you), you may have seen the pictures I posted from the state park I have been visiting on a daily basis. It's become a ritual of mine, to leave work in the morning (I work 3rd shift) and go out and just sit, relax, and connect with nature. I can't tell you what it's done for me, it's just something that has to be experienced. I meditate, and I usually go walking barefoot on the wood chip laden paths, which at times is painful lol, but I've been surprised at how quickly my feet have become desensitized to that and it has become the way I feel I it should be, no shoes, feeling the ground beneath my feet, much as our ancestors did, and the sensation is one that cannot be described. The whole thing is just a very sacred, spiritual experience, and I intend to continue to go out there each morning I can. I will go ahead and post some of the pictures I've taken at the park here on blogger, but at a later date, in another post.
I'm alone when I go, but I feel no loneliness. My path is leading me to a new sense of wholeness, a way to see that I need no one but myself to feel loved and connected, for we are all part of nature, and nature is within us. For so many years I looked to others to make me feel complete, to have that sense of belonging, of being loved, but being alone with nature is teaching me how to find those things all around me, and within me. It has been the greatest experience of my life.
So, with a new name, and a new path, I wake up each day happy, and full of joy for what the day will bring. No expectations, no preconceived notions, just living, being alive, and it's the most wonderful life ever.