Broken Promises.......

It's been a long time since I posted, I know......

I can't tell you why, or, should I say, I'd rather not.....

Life is busy for me, right now, and I don't have the time to post every day, and it's funny, I promised to do so every day......that's the funny part...it's funny how a lifetime works....

Just as soon as you promise something, there's something else that comes along to screw up that promise, like it's meant to be, like it's the catalyst for a challenge in one's life. Everything seems "normal", you say you can do something, and out of the blue, something happens to make it where you cannot fulfill your promise. I don't see that as a coincidence.

I was going to write a book....I was going to make a good amount of money, things were going to be great, but, fate stepped in, and things worked out to where none of that happened. It's hilarious to me, how we humans seem to not notice how that works. Always, when we make plans, we see how happy things are going to be, and then, BAM, everything goes sour. In an instant.

We live these lives thinking it's all random, there's not a control mechanism at hand, but what if, just, what if, there *IS*?

No, it's all about learning. We learn through adversity. Everything can seem to be going right, and then something happens to make it *NOT* all right, and our world turns to shit.

We learn from it, but, in my case, what I have learned is that there are no good things scheduled for my life, without a good measure of the "not good" going hand in hand. I can't have a happy, normal life, where I have the fucking money to pay my bills, and be ok. No, that's too much to ask.

In the grand scheme of things, I am made to suffer through the non ability to provide for myself, let alone anyone else, it's how the "system" works.

I am doomed to a life where I get to learn what it's like to disappoint the ones I love over and over again, and not be able to follow up on my promises, even when it seems it's a sure thing.

I'm done with it, I'll learn what I have to learn, but I am done making promises. Obviously, there's not a chance in hell I will be able to follow up on them.

I won't make any more promises, because I hate disappointing those I love.

Let life happen as it will, if I end up broke, and alone, so be it.

It's better than disappointing those I love.

End of story......

And...writing some more....

Hi friends, it's been a day, like all other days, well, except for the fact that I'm writing a novel.

It's pretty well taken over my thought process. Well, that, and making sure I post every day here on my blog.

I am making a commitment to committing to things, and sticking with them.

And the NaNoWriMo challenge is part of that. But even if I didn't have that, I'd still be committed to writing here on my blog.

The funny thing is, it's becoming less of a commitment, and more of a way of life. It's just what I do, now, I go to work, I come home, and I write, here, on my blog, and I write my novel.

I think that's the way it's supposed to work out though, that's how "they", whoever they are, train you to always be writing. They give you a monthly challenge, and then, if you are dedicated and committed to it, you find yourself doing it as a habit, and then, it's no longer a challenge. You just do it as a way of life, and that's what it seems I'm doing.

I wrote 1,905 words today on my novel, still ahead of the goal of 1,667 per day. I intend to keep it that way, and if my instinct is correct, I have a feeling that within the next few days, or perhaps a week, I will be writing more than double that each day, because by then, it will be a habit.

I'm writing, and writing more, and again, writing more. It is what I do, it's what I am, and I'm pretty happy about it.

I hope all of you have a great day doing what it is that YOU do.

Writing, writing, writing....

Hi folks. Just a short and sweet post tonight, I got up later than usual, and now I don't have the time to really get into anything deep lol.

I wrote more of my novel today, and I'm on track to finish it by the 28th. That's the beauty of writing more than the "required" 1,667 words per day. But that's not what it's all about. I am really enjoying just the writing, it feels like I am just typing the words, and the book is writing itself.

I was talking to a friend about it today, and came up with a great idea for the beginning of the third chapter, that should change the dynamic of the book in a way I've not seen done very often. But time will tell, by the time I get to that point in writing it, things may change.

So that's about it for today, I've got to go and get ready for work now.

Have a pleasant evening everyone, and I will talk to you again tomorrow!

NaNoWriMo!

Hi folks! I wanted to tell you a little more about my latest challenge I got myself into, NaNoWriMo.

It's a lot like NaBloWriMo, where you write every day, but this is about writing a book. A 50,000 word novel, a work of fiction, in 30 days. It doesn't necessarily have to be finished, but the goal is to write 50,000 words of it. To do that, you need to write at least 1,667 words per day. Well, today, I am proud to say, I wrote 1,843 of them!

And, they have a neat widget, that you can see on my sidebar over there, that shows your progress as you go along, so even if I don't mention it, you can see how far I've gotten in meeting the goal!

I really want to see this challenge through, and I want to try to keep writing after it's done. I think that having a time limit is a real motivation to get it done. And, I wanted to see if I could in fact write a novel, as it's something of a dream of mine, that I've had for a while now, but I never have tried to do it.

So, wish me luck, and, if you want to check out more about what NaNoWriMo is all about, and try it yourself, it's easy. Just go to www.nanowrimo.org, and see!

Have a great night folks!